A gap in learning is where you have potty trained your child (or you are doing so) and there is some element of the process they haven’t understood. When it comes to pooing or weeing in the wrong place, the gap in learning generally comes from not understanding the social norms of acceptable behaviour. When potty training in the summer, it’s easy to think that weeing on the garden isn’t an issue, but it gets more difficult when it comes to poos, or when winter comes around. Unfortunately, your child may not yet appreciate the differences. Essentially, if you are not careful to help your child understand that all wee and poo must go in the potty (whatever the weather), you could have inadvertently taught them to go outside.

If your child is just pooping or peeing where they want and doesn’t seem to care, it is probably not that they don’t care, but that they have given up trying to work out the answer. In this case, the gap in learning may be more to do with how they communicate their needs and how much they can do independently. All toddlers desire independence and mastery, so they may need to be taught the relevant skills that will enable them to be independent in the process. By tapping into their internal motivation ( a desire for mastery) you can channel their energy into getting this right.

If your child absolutely knows where it’s supposed to go but just won’t do it right, a  behavioural issue may be fuelling this.  The problem is likely to stem from wanting more privacy. Weeing or pooing when you turn your back is a classic sign of this. However, so is having a preferred wee and poo spot. This is because, for whatever reason, your child feels safe in that space. When you think about it, most people have poo preferences or habits.  Perhaps you do too?
Preferences may be for a particular toilet (e.g. your own at home), a quiet bathroom where you cannot be heard, or where you can be anonymous. I know that one of the only safe spaces where I can be alone in my home is sitting on the toilet! (although even that is not always guaranteed!!)  Preferences create associations, and the anal muscles learn to relax when these things are in place, or when the person feels safe . Both are usually helped by feeling private. As social beings, we are born with instincts about this, so it’s very much a natural way to think and behave. People want to feel they can get on with things in private.